Online shopping, we’re all extremely guilty of it. I’m pretty sure at least half of us have had some kind of mild addiction to eBay at any one point in time, and we’ve all definitely spent some money on something totally ridiculous – especially early on in our internet shopping cart careers. So I asked a bunch of people about their first-ever online purchases, and oh boy did it deliver.
Mine? It’s a long-held shameful secret but the first thing I ever bought online was a D12 bling necklace from eBay. Not sure if Mum even knew I borrowed her credit card for it, or if that’s how I even bought it (???) but I do know that at some point in my teen years of online shopping, I knew those card numbers off by heart. Sorry, Mum.
The necklace/bling looked something like this, and I cherished it (and my ongoing crush on early-00s Eminem.)
I took the first of my shameful online purchases to both Twitter and the PEDESTRIAN.TV group chat, and the responses were nothing short of absolutely delightful and kinda alarming.
My first eBay purchase was a fake LV wallet.
My first general internet purchase was the Twilight Soundtrack and Decode lyric tshirt from the Paramore webstore.
— australi anfootball (@sebbiepie) July 17, 2020
I dabbled in forex by buying a 100 trillion dollar Zimbabwean note
— Zac Crellin (@zacrellin) July 17, 2020
Nicked mum’s credit card to buy a South Park shoulder bag off the official site. A week later mum confronted me about the US$70 charge, I denied it completely even when she promised I wasn’t in trouble. My folks believed me but I was so distraught, I didn’t shop online for YEARS.
— Cara the Cute & Creepy (@rockfotze) July 17, 2020
This Jonas Brothers-themed stuffed dog that came with a dog tag that I wore to school everyday. – Bianca
When i got my first job at 14 years of age i got addicted to eBay and my first purchase was 1000 basketball cards for $25
— Sportfan Numma Juan (@Horrid_Bear) July 17, 2020
Lots of Eevee figurines
— Sarah Maunder (@s_maunder) July 17, 2020
Bratz dolls on eBay.
— emma ???? (@buttholefactory) July 17, 2020
Age 12, I bought a tabacco pipe because of Juno!
— nina oyama (@ninaoyama) July 17, 2020
Dog tag necklace with hello kitty engraved on it
— ???????????????????? ???????????????????? (@Tegan_Writes) July 19, 2020
I have not thought about the dog tag trend since approximately 2003 but it’s suddenly as clear as day in my brain.
my first online purchase was doc marten mary janes. i spent an entire week researching to find them for the cheapest price so nothing’s changed since then
— george sibley stan account (@junksquadannual) July 18, 2020
i can’t remember if it was my first, but i do remember spending a fuckload of cash (considering shipping rates back then) on a massive hot topic order and also a whole bunch of vampire: the masquerade manuals back in the late 90s
— radical lisa loebotomy (@NforNihilism) July 17, 2020
I feel the Hot Topic desire deep, deep in my soul.
Hundreds of dollars worth of habbo credits… via the landline ????
— totes masc (@asherjohannes) July 17, 2020
Oh, Habbo hotel. That one cuts deep.
And this absolute king move by this kid when he was seven.
My son bought a snow sled on (my) eBay when he was 7.
It was a UK listing.
Pick up only.
We live in Queensland.
— ♕ Kerryn Smith (@smithker75) July 17, 2020
Everything here, all of these online purchases, more iconic than the last. But my absolute favourite is from my workmate Louie, who bought a fucking huge hand armchair online. Please enjoy this thing in all its splendour.
Image: Pen15 / Hulu